It can be easy to lack confidence in the competitive world in which we live… unfortunately, when we don’t have faith in ourselves others lose faith in us as well. If we think and say we can’t do something or that we will fail… we will usually prove ourselves correct. This is why we have to use the self-fulfilling prophesy for our advantage and not our downfall. If you think you’re going to be successful you are usually correct- again, self-fulfilling prophesy. If you act confident, you will eventually start to feel confident.
Now when I tell you to fake it ‘til you make it, I’m not telling you to pretend that you know how to perform heart surgery or anything like that. What I am saying is, when you go onto that job interview be honest but be confident … or at least portray yourself as confident and happy to be there. Tell yourself you’re going to get the job… If your stomach is twisting because of how anxious you are, don’t tell yourself that you’re going to throw up… because of the whole self-fulfilling prophesy thing (you don’t want it to come true). If its your first time being team lead and you’re feeling nervous and are worried about asserting yourself in your team as the leader don’t let it show, act confident and assertive… let people know that you’re a good and kind leader but also one who won’t be someone’s doormat.
I remember back in university my anxiety would build in the hours leading up to a class presentation, my palms would be sweaty and my voice would be shaky (this is all perfectly normal), but when students would ask me questions about my presentation I sounded unsure…. However I learned that the best way to get over this anxiety was to face it. By embodying confidence while facing your fears or your worries you create real life confidence deep within yourself. I began practicing leveling the tone and volume of my voice, perfecting the speed of my voice to a metronome so that I would present as a confident and self-assured individual. It worked, I sounded great… even though I felt like I was going to be sick. The more I did it, the more comfortable I became. Furthermore, people asked me how I had become such a confident and clear speaker (truth was… at that point, I still wasn’t).
As an adult when I was trying to get freelance writing jobs people would asked why they should go with my work and not someone else’s. I think the way they phrased it was “what do you have to offer that other writers don’t?” and I think in the back of my head I wanted to say “well nothing… I’m sure they all offer about the same stuff as me…” but if I said that why would I get the job. So I talked about my passions, my aspirations, and what was unique about my writing style. More often than not, it worked.
And a crazy side line here as look out of the window, is my trees need trimming, this is a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy, well actually no it isn’t but they need a trim!! And the local guys have been recommended to me.
So next time you have a job interview, meeting, presentation, or anything you are feeling unsure about… don’t fret! Tell yourself you got it, and fake it ‘till you make it.